Parenting with an Eternal Perspective

GUEST BLOGGER: TERRI HITT

I Needed to Stop Being a Good Mom

When I parented my first set of children, I was a baby myself. Having them at eighteen and twenty-one made me the youngest mother everywhere I went. Since I had no experience, I wish I could proclaim that I’d carried confidence and courage to parent the unique children God entrusted to me, but instead, I was swayed by parents, doctors, older friends, and books or magazine articles I read. Everyone applauded me for being such a good mother. Although the praise felt wonderful, I didn’t know what I know now. I needed to stop being a good mom.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKdSRETS9Nk

What’s Wrong with Being a Good Mom?

What’s wrong with being a good mom? Nothing…and everything. My husband and I did everything the world expects you to do when raising children. We were present, supportive, loving, kind, and complimentary. All our children’s needs and most of their wants were provided. They had birthday parties with friends, celebrated holidays with lots of family, received vehicles when they began to drive and had good friends. We were very good parents.  In hindsight, and after deep introspection, I can see that our parenting was also worldly. Instead of humbly submitting to God moment by moment and asking for direction on how to raise each of our unique children for Him, we loved God and spoke of God, yet ignorantly supported our children with worldly direction and wisdom. It took deep introspection to see that being a good mom might seem right to most people, but God requires us to be godly parents.

God Offers Another Plan

Fast forward almost twenty years…my husband and I weren’t even forty when both of our children graduated from high school. By the time my husband and I were in our early forties, God surprised us with a plan neither of us had seen coming. We both experienced what we called a dream or a vision that showed us we had a daughter in China. When we compared our stories, we knew God was at work. As we began looking back on our parenting years and assessing what we felt was done well and what we would want to change, we began praying together for guidance on how to raise this baby in all ways that would give God joy and allow her to be a light for Him. Over the years, our relationship with Jesus had matured, and we knew that He was offering us both an opportunity to parent with an eternal perspective.

Parenting With an Eternal Perspective

When our baby (the one we brought home from China) was four years old, our oldest daughter passed away at the age of twenty-nine. It was the deepest hurt I’ve experienced. I had to remind myself to breathe because the pain crushing my chest made it hard to inhale. After this loss, I felt like I lived with one foot here and one in Heaven. Through this deep grief, God exposed His character in ways I had never imagined. I was walking closely with Him but never had to rely on the truths I had read and learned from the Bible. When I was forced to choose whether I would faithfully believe in His goodness and provisions, He proved to me that He is everything His Word says and more than I can comprehend. His faithfulness, mercy, and compassion lifted me above the depth of despair and carried me until I could stand on my feet again. Yet, I didn’t leave His arms. My experience taught me that the safest place to stay is beneath His wings, where He provides all I need for the moment. Now, I am able to parent with an eternal perspective that has been refined through God’s holy love and intimate care. I’m no longer a good mother, but I strive each moment to become a godlier parent for the beautiful children He has entrusted to my care.